Looking to add some humor to safe sex conversations? Check out this list of 200+ funny names for condoms that will make you laugh while staying responsible!
Whether you’re joking around with friends, shopping for a gag gift, or simply looking for clever alternatives, these names bring a playful twist to protection.
From puns to quirky nicknames, there’s a funny condom name here for every mood and moment.
The Benefits of Choosing Funny Names for Condoms
Table of Contents
- Breaks the Ice: Adds humor to sometimes awkward conversations about safe sex.
- Encourages Responsibility: Makes using protection feel less intimidating and more fun.
- Great for Gifts: Perfect for bachelor parties, gag gifts, or prank presents.
- Creates Memorable Moments: A funny name makes the topic lighthearted and easier to discuss.
Funny Names for Condoms
1. Love Gloves
A classic funny name for keeping things safe and snug.
2. Party Pants
For when the night is ready to get wild.
3. Banana Hammock
A hilarious and cheeky nickname for protection.
4. Passion Pouch
Perfect for adding humor and romance at the same time.
5. Sock Puppet
Because sometimes you just need a little laugh.
6. Love Sock
Simple, funny, and straight to the point.
7. Jimmy Hat
A well-known funny slang term for a condom.
8. Cuddle Cover
A cute and lighthearted way to talk about safe sex.
9. Baby Blocker
Funny and practical — says exactly what it does.
10. Pleasure Pocket
For a mix of fun and flirty vibes.
11. Lightning Rod Jacket
Perfect for electrifying moments.
12. Fun Shield
A playful way to encourage safety without being serious.
13. Happy Hoodie
Because safe sex should come with a smile.
14. Pogo Wrapper
Silly and perfect for a laugh in awkward conversations.
15. Silly Sleeve
Lighthearted and perfect for breaking the tension.
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Names for Female Condoms
1. Love Gloveette
A fun and feminine twist on the classic “love glove.”
2. Lady Shield
Highlighting safety and protection for women.
3. Femme Cover
A classy and simple name for a female condom.
4. Girl Guard
Perfect for emphasizing protection and empowerment.
5. Sheath Queen
A bold, playful name for a woman’s protection.
6. Lady Love Lock
A romantic and catchy nickname.
7. Passion Pouch
Sexy and fun while keeping things safe.
8. She Shield
Direct and strong, emphasizing safety for her.
9. Queen’s Crown
A cheeky name with a royal flair.
10. Femme Wrap
Simple, sleek, and to the point.
11. Diva Defense
For women who take control and stay protected.
12. Lady Barrier
Straightforward and descriptive with a feminine touch.
13. Inner Armor
Highlighting inner strength and safety.
14. Femme Fort
French-inspired and elegant, meaning “strong woman.”
15. Goddess Guard
For a woman who deserves royal-level protection.
Different Names for Condoms
1. Love Glove
A classic funny term that’s been around for years.
2. Jimmy Hat
One of the most popular slang names for condoms.
3. Party Pants
Perfect for a wild night out.
4. Baby Blocker
A humorous, straightforward name that says it all.
5. Raincoat
A playful and old-school term for protection.
6. Sock on the Rocket
Silly and perfect for breaking the ice in awkward conversations.
7. Safety Sock
A fun way to emphasize safe sex.
8. Cuddle Cover
Cute and funny while promoting safety.
9. Pogo Sleeve
Silly and quirky, perfect for lighthearted moments.
10. Love Sock
Straightforward and humorous at the same time.
11. Rubber
A classic and common slang term for condoms.
12. Balloon Jacket
Funny and perfect for a laugh in the bedroom.
13. Lightning Rod Cover
Adding some “spark” to safe sex conversations.
14. Pleasure Protector
Sexy and practical at the same time.
15. Snuggle Shield
For safe, cuddly, and worry-free fun.
Cool Names for Condoms
1. Night Guard
Strong and sleek, emphasizing protection.
2. Iron Wrap
Suggests durability and reliability.
3. Thunder Shield
Bold and powerful, perfect for a modern brand.
4. Eclipse
Mysterious and cool, symbolizing coverage and safety.
5. Apex
Represents being at the top — the best protection.
6. Vortex
Dynamic and edgy, great for younger audiences.
7. Titan
Symbolizes strength and unbeatable reliability.
8. Guardian
Classic and trustworthy, perfect for safe sex branding.
9. Blackout
Sleek and modern, with a bold, daring vibe.
10. Fusion
Represents connection and intimacy in a cool way.
11. Phantom
Smooth, mysterious, and almost invisible — like a thin condom.
12. SteelSkin
Strong and protective with a modern edge.
13. Nova
Fresh and exciting, suggesting a burst of energy.
14. Velocity
Fast, sleek, and cool for adventurous couples.
15. Element
Simple and sophisticated while still sounding modern.
Old Names for Condoms
1. French Letter
A classic historical term used widely in the 19th and 20th centuries.
2. Gentleman’s Protector
A formal and old-fashioned way to refer to condoms.
3. Preventative Sheath
Used in early medical texts to describe condoms.
4. Venus Glove
A romantic, vintage term tied to love and intimacy.
5. French Goods
An old slang term that hinted at imported luxury.
6. Protective Sheath
A straightforward name used in the early 1900s.
7. Love Sheath
Old-fashioned but descriptive and charming.
8. Safeguard
A simple, general term for protection in earlier days.
9. French Protection
Used during Victorian times to discreetly talk about condoms.
10. Venus Armor
A poetic term symbolizing safe and passionate love.
11. Gentleman’s Rubber
A phrase popular in the early 20th century.
12. Preventive Packet
Used when condoms were sold in paper wrappers.
13. Male Shield
A formal and conservative name for condoms.
14. Lovers’ Cover
Vintage and romantic, often used in love letters.
15. Prophylactic
A proper medical term still recognized today.
Rejected Names for Condoms
1. Baby Catcher
A little too literal and definitely not appealing.
2. Oops Stopper
Funny, but doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.
3. The Plug
Sounds more like plumbing equipment than a condom.
4. Daddy Delay
Funny, but awkward and cringe-worthy.
5. Leakproof
Makes it sound like a faulty product test waiting to happen.
6. Pregnancy Pause
Way too clinical and unsexy for the bedroom.
7. Goo Blocker
A gross term that ruins the mood entirely.
8. The Wrapper
Sounds more like a snack than protection.
9. Baby Beater
Highly inappropriate and offensive.
10. Spunk Trunk
Silly, but far too vulgar for actual branding.
11. Pop Stopper
Almost cute, but it feels more like bubble wrap than safety.
12. The Sleeve of Love
Funny, but way too corny and awkward.
13. Daddy Shield
Uncomfortable and weird for intimate moments.
14. The No-Baby Blanket
Humorous, but way too long and impractical.
15. Sticky Situation Saver
Overly descriptive and totally unmarketable.
Slang Names for Condoms
1. Rubber
The most common slang term for a condom.
2. Jimmy Hat
A classic and well-known slang name.
3. Love Glove
A playful term emphasizing intimacy and protection.
4. Raincoat
An old-school and funny way to describe condoms.
5. Sock on the Rocket
Silly and descriptive for a good laugh.
6. Love Sock
A simple, cheeky term that’s easy to remember.
7. Party Pants
For those wild nights out.
8. Wrapper
Straightforward and very commonly used slang.
9. Balloon
Funny and a little ridiculous, but widely recognized.
10. Pecker Protector
Direct and humorous — definitely gets the point across.
11. Fun Shield
A lighthearted term that sounds safe and fun.
12. Cuddle Cover
Cute slang that makes safe sex sound cozy.
13. Boner Coat
Blunt and very cheeky, great for adult humor.
14. Knob Cap
British slang that’s both silly and descriptive.
15. Baby Blocker
Hilarious and very to-the-point about what condoms do.
Other Names for Condoms
1. Love Glove
A fun and classic way to refer to a condom.
2. Jimmy Cap
A popular old-school slang term.
3. Baby Stopper
Funny and straightforward — does exactly what it says.
4. Raincoat
A humorous term that’s been used for decades.
5. Safety Sock
Perfect for safe and responsible fun.
6. Love Sock
A playful and catchy alternative.
7. Rubber
The most common slang word for condoms.
8. Party Pants
For those nights when the party gets extra fun.
9. Banana Wrap
A silly and cheeky term everyone will understand.
10. Fun Shield
For keeping things safe while still having fun.
11. Pleasure Sleeve
A slightly sexy but lighthearted nickname.
12. Happy Hoodie
Because safe sex should come with a smile.
13. Cuddle Cap
A cute and gentle way to refer to protection.
14. Balloon Suit
Funny and perfect for a little giggle.
15. Baby Blocker
A popular nickname that gets straight to the point.
